Tacky Bachelorette Party Penis Accessories and Their Magnificent Counterparts

Lets clarify that we're not using tacky as a pejorative. It's a valid aesthetic. Nashville often thinks of itself as tacky-chic with our-hair-up-to-God country music heritage. Kitsch is cute. Magnificent accessories are rather self explanatory, don't you think? Subjective, sure, but if you can't see the beauty in a mirror ball penis sculpture then we can't help you...

Tacky

Tacky Bonus points if you fill it with hard liquor. This water bottle is exempt from being tacky if filled with life-nourishing water and brought to a soul-nourishing bachelorette dance party ;D
Magnificent

Suddenly, we don't feel like a party is a party without a penis luge. How can a respectable woman have one last fling before the ring without knowing what liquor tastes like through the business end of an ice dick. Every woman deserves to have that knowledge when they marry the love of their lives.


Tacky

Who can't make a crepe paper penis? Should we break it down?
1) make a penis
2) attach black post it notes thusly
3) draw on eyes
4) robot arms optional

Magnificent

PENIS MIRROR STATUE! Accept no other kind of penis statue. We didn't even know that we needed this until just this second.

Tacky

Like you need an excuse? :P Mama needs her sugar, so we're not complaining.

Magnificent

These Lipsdick lipsticks will surely last longer than the edible man-panty up there, plus it makes us laugh. It's the ultimate penis accessory.