Lets clarify that we're not using tacky as a pejorative. It's a valid aesthetic. Nashville often thinks of itself as tacky-chic with our-hair-up-to-God country music heritage. Kitsch is cute. Magnificent accessories are rather self explanatory, don't you think? Subjective, sure, but if you can't see the beauty in a mirror ball penis sculpture then we can't help you...
Tacky Bonus points if you fill it with hard liquor. This water bottle is exempt from being tacky if filled with life-nourishing water and brought to a soul-nourishing bachelorette dance party ;D
Suddenly, we don't feel like a party is a party without a penis luge. How can a respectable woman have one last fling before the ring without knowing what liquor tastes like through the business end of an ice dick. Every woman deserves to have that knowledge when they marry the love of their lives.
1) make a penis
2) attach black post it notes thusly
3) draw on eyes
4) robot arms optional
Like you need an excuse? :P Mama needs her sugar, so we're not complaining.